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101 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Turn that frown upside down with these hilarious sayings about life, love, friendship, and work. By Alesandra Dubin and Corinne Sullivan Updated:.


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1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life .".


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- George Carlin Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something. -Plato The more you know, the dumber you sound to stupid people. -Unknown Life is hard. It's even harder when you're stupid. -John Wayne Wisdom doesn't really come with age.


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Here are 100 of the best funny quotes I could find. The goal? To make you relax, laugh, and have a good time! 😂 Life is short and the happiest people are those who live lightly ( with a smile on their hearts). You'll discover quotes by Bill Murray, Tina Fey, Jim Carrey, and more. Enjoy! I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright


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Best overall funny quotes "Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired." — Sandra Bullock "Keep calm and carry a wand." — A.W. Jantha, "Hocus Pocus & The All New.


Pin by Ahxan Rajpoot on Stupid thoughts ) Quotations, Thoughts, Relatable

2. "No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early." — Groucho Marx. 3. "Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished." — Leslie Nielsen. 4. "It takes.


Stupid Motivational Quotes. QuotesGram

Funny Quotes 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the.


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Sarcastic Quotes. 1. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.". - Steven Wright. 2. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.". 3. "I am not young enough to know everything.".


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"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself." Reba McEntire "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone." Isaac Asimov "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." Abraham Lincoln "No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar."


Robert Charles Wilson Quote “Stupid people do stupid things, but people who are smart enough

Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." —Thomas Eddison. 2. "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." —Donald Trump. 3.


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Stupid Quotes - BrainyQuote Love is being stupid together. Paul Valery It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. Thomas Sowell It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.


Einstein Stupidity Quote ShortQuotes.cc

Funny inspirational work quotes RD.com, Getty Images 1. "When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it." —Theodore Roosevelt 2..


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Peter: "I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob." —Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space. "I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.". — Clarence Darrow. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.". — Oscar Wilde.


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1. "My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." —Socrates 2. "If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday,.


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"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - A. A. Milne Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln


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Quell the inner critic and just keep doing. "So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track." —Ed Helms. This was the advice actor (and star of television's The Office ), comedian, singer, and musician, Ed Helms, gave to the 2013 graduating class of Knox College.